I’m just afraid that if you stay, you’ll hate me

The confederate flag. What does it mean in today’s world? That is what I am trying to figure out. The other day I was at a friend’s house who had many American flag things and army stuff all over their room. Well, there was an eagle statue and he was holding a confederate flag. Now, when I think of confederate flags, I think of slavery and how the confederates were for it. So I would automatically think that this person would be a racist. But I know this person and they are not. I have seen confederate flags around a lot lately. Some people just say “ the south will rise again.” Really? Is that it? Because that flag didn’t stand for good things. Our country was split apart because of it and its just being flaunted around. Like the band Avenged Sevenfold, I love them very much, but they have confederate flags everywhere. What does that mean? Does that mean that they are racist? Or do they just really like the south? It’s all just a little weird and I don’t really get it. Does someone have some insight to this?

Oh baby, when they made me, they broke the mold

So I have just realized, … that I have very small hands.
I have been wanting to expand my musical knowledge and learn to play either guitar or piano, or both. I mentioned this to my brother, who in turn mentioned it casually in conversation with his boss who happens to be the guitar player at our church, Mike. Mike just bought a new guitar that is both acoustic and electric so he decided to GIVE me his old acoustic guitar! It is so beautiful! I have truly been blessed. (its almost the size of me, but I can deal). So I decided yesterday to pick it up and start memorizing chords. I thought it couldn’t be too difficult since I already play bass… and that is where I was wrong. Memorizing is not going to be a problem.. but getting my yittle fingers in the positions is. They were struggling so hard to reach every string. Normally I just play one string at a time and I only have 4, but this time there is 6! So my hands will have to practice stretching themselves. I remember a long time ago someone telling me that it was a good thing that I didn’t play guitar because my hands were so small.. and now I know what they meant.
p.s.:
HAPPY ST.PATRICK'S DAY!

If you’re ready we can shake the world

So for my anthropology class, I had to watch a film about when the Australians went to New Guinea in search for gold. The native people there were saying that they had never seen white people before. They thought they were ghosts because they were pale and they couldn’t possibly excrete because they were wearing so much clothing. (as compared to them) I couldn’t believe it. They had only known the people in their tribe, or whatever you want to call it. I couldn’t imagine having such a small world. It really is crazy when you think about it. I may not have been around the world, but I am at least aware of it and all the different people and animals that inhabit it.

I will never end up like him, behind my back I already am

Have you ever got the giggles real bad? Well, I have. The last time, on thursday night worship practice. We all got in a prayer circle getting ready to pray. A lady ( whose name I cannot think of at the moment) was talking about her prayer requests and about how so and so is dying and then my brother just starts to laugh. So, of coarse this makes me laugh. We tried to pull it off like he was choking, but he was still chuckling which made me laugh. Unfortunately I could not contain my laughter and it just kept coming, and the lady just kept talking and then she started to say that her mother was very ill and it was at that moment that I erupted in loud laughter. I felt horrible. I do not know this lady, she has just got on the worship team as a backup singer and now she must think that I am a horrible person. But she just went on and on. Finally we started praying after what seemed like forever! I was biting down on my gum so hard as to not laugh again.. It was really really bad.

today

The church business meeting is today and I will be voting. This is something new. It is going to be very strange, my whole life I have just felt like I am a child. Growing up in the church I was always known as Ruben’s kid. That was my identity. When I started to play bass, I relayed on my father to show me exactly what to play. I got away with things because my dad was on staff, and now he is gone. And I realize that I do not have a knowledge of music and I am no longer a dependent child. It is my time to step up and realize that I am an adult and I have to do my part as a member of the church that I have been going to my entire life.