daddy said you gotta show the world the thunder

The other day on myspace I read a survey. One of the questions was, “ Do you think you are anything like the person you were a year ago?” The answer was no and I thought about it. Am I anything like I was a year ago? The answer was also no. At first I wanted to say yes because year after year if I were to have been asked that question, the answer would have been yes, that I was always the same. But the past two years, I have done a lot of changing. In the year that just passed my view of life and love have changed. Normally I think of change as a bad thing. I’m really not a fan of it. But when I really thought of it, I want my answer to that question every year to be a no. I want to always be changing and moving forward. The only way to become a better person is to change. So if that’s what it takes, then so be it.

you tell me that you need me, then you go and cut me down

With all the talk of new years resolutions.. I feel like I should have my say. One of my new years resolutions would be to compliment more. It's not that I'm not a positive person.. it's just that I don't voice it all the time. I might want to compliment someone... but if it is not convenient at the time to tell the person.. then I don't do it. It never hurts to hear something positive. One day I had just come into work and my coworker Gayle was helping someone. She made a cone for her and I noticed that it was a very nice cone. Cones aren't as easy to make as it looks. So I told her it was a nice cone. She stopped and said that was the nicest thing she had heard all day. And she began to tell me about her horrible day. That little compliment just helped her out so much. And it wasn't even that big of a deal. So I will try harder to voice positive things. That is a goal of mine this year.

I am an arms dealer fitting you with weapons in the form of words

On Friday night Denise, Brandon, Bridget and I went to go see the movie Valkyrie. Boy, what a fiasco that was. We first went to the del amo mall to see it and the line was so incredibly long that we would miss the show that we had got there for. So then we went to rolling hills and there was no lights on at all the parking lots. And there was absolutely no parking. We drove everywhere looking for parking. I was ready to give up after like a half an hour when someone backed out. We really didn’t want to go to any late showings but when Denise went to go pay with her credit card for the 8:00 show so it would be faster, it was already sold out. By this time I was angry, I went to two places to see this movie.. I WAS GOING TO SEE IT! I had already planned on seeing so it was going to happen. We decided to stay for the 10:05 showing. Unfortunately this left us with two hours of free time. We couldn’t go somewhere in my car, because then we will lose the parking spot. So we decided that we would eat very slowly at Island’s. All of us had already eaten, but we needed something to do. It was also freezing outside. We ate faster than we wanted to and ended up just sitting inside the theatre waiting for them to let us in.

The movie was very good. Though Denise and I found ourselves stressing out even though we all knew what the outcome would be. I was glad that they made that movie, all you ever hear about in school is how the Germans were horrible people. No one ever talks about how not everyone agreed with what was going on. Even though this was a great movie, we didn’t understand why we were so bent on seeing it. It is just unbelievable how one man can convince a whole nation of something that’s not even true.

now if she does it like this, will you do it like that?

so a lot of people say that you are like your friends. I agree with this to a certain extent. I am my own person and I want to keep it that way, but there are certain things that I know i pick up. Like my coworkers and my boss all played mafia one night and my boss kept saying "CLEARLY!" and so to make fun of him we would say it all the time and now I say it all the time in my everyday vernacular. haha. But I pick up other things too, for example, if my friends are trying to always do what is right, I will want to do the same. I am realizing how important it is to surround yourself with people that will help you.

I've got troubled thoughts and the self-esteem to match, what a catch

Some of you may know that I am learning Japanese for fun. So I decided to go and and find out how to say " merry Christmas" in Japanese. They didn't have it in any of my books so I went online. Unfortunately.. it's just the same as in English. But I did see somethings that I thought was funny. Apparently Christmas is very important to young women. They must have a guy to be with and to shower them in gifts... especially really expensive gifts. Girls with boyfriends like to show off to single depressed girls. Silly huh? .. Well I was thinking that it's not too much different than it is here. I mean.. no one wants to spend Christmas alone. But I guess it's not as extreme as it is there. I just found it amusing. I don't even remember why I am posting this

They know you’re just a boy, so grow up and be that man

It seems to me more and more that the choices we make are not only for ourselves but others. We don’t consciously think about it, but what we do affects the others around us. For example I have seen many instances where people are just not living up to what they need to be and in turn I end up suffering for it. Instead of doing the right thing, or just not thinking things through, whatever people decide to do, we all have to deal with the outcome. At first I was only thinking about others and how they have affected me, but now I see that I too must watch what I do because the same goes for me. If everyone was trying to be the best that they could be, things would be a lot different. So I know that personally, I will be always striving to make the best choice possible, rather than a rash one.

nobody wants to hear you sing about tragedy

So today the new fall out boy cd came out! ( did u really expect me not to blog about this? haha) I just started listening to it. And I am soo happy. What I have heard is great! I specifically remember the day that their last cd came out because I was allowed to skip school because the night before was a late night. .. the night my dad walked out. I remember buying the cd at target and wondering what the future held. luckily fall out boy didn't let me down and they had a great cd. Now a little over a year later things may not be perfect.. but they are pretty good. .. and fall out boy is still in my heart. ( even though I can't love pete wentz anymore because he is married and has a child)