everything everything's magic

So Friday night ended up being quite a surprise. That day I didn’t think I was going to be doing anything really exciting considering work had caused me to miss out on plans. So I got off of work, ate something and Denise decided that we needed to do something. So we decided that we should go see a movie but we couldn’t agree on one. So then she decides that we should just go to Disney land and buy passes. So we just left. It was the most adventurous thing that I have done .. ever. Haha. I haven’t been to Disneyland in ages. It was so amazing. I went on all the rides that had been changed. It hadn’t been the best day, but it was the greatest way to end it… and the happiest place on earth.

I'm starting to believe the ocean's much like You, cause it gives and it takes away

So I recently purchased a Thrice cd. Not their latest, but the one before that. ( I am behind in buying music) One song stood out to me, it’s called Open Water. That is where the title of this blog is from. In thinking about that I started to compare God to the ocean. Not only does He give and take away, but He is big. Really big. Also, we know a lot about Him, but we still don’t know everything, and we never will. Just like how we can’t control or know what exactly the ocean is going to do at all times, we don’t know what God has planned or what He is going to do. In thinking about that, it reminded me that God is in control and all of this election stuff and the changes that will be happening in our country are in His hands.

you say you want a revolution? Well, you know, we all want to change the world.

Today is election day. my first time ever voting which is kind of cool. It makes me feel grown up and patriotic. I never have gotten into politics before and I really in all honesty don't know too much, but I know enough. I knew that I couldn't just not vote, there were too many issues that were important. And if I didn't vote, I would be held responsible before God. I was scared to go. I hate doing things by myself especially things that I haven't done before, but I did it and I got a sticker. I kind of felt stupid because I didn't know what to do. But how am I supposed to know?! So, we will see what happens. If I watch most of the coverage tonight and write about it, I get extra credit in history. And I really need extra credit, so .. it looks like I will be staying up late.

do you remember when we were just kids and cardboard boxes took us miles from what we would miss

My cousin just had her first baby a week ago. This is a big deal because this is like the first baby born in our family. You know what I mean? So basically it is going to be spoiled. I am excited for it I really am, but, I am kind of dreading what will come with it. My aunt and uncle constantly bragging. My little cousin thinking she is all big since she is an aunt now. All they care about is themselves. They have nothing more to live for. I wish that circumstances could be better. I wish that I didn’t feel this way. But they haven’t been there for us at all, they are always in their own world, and I just know that it is going to be so nauseating. It’s not the baby’s fault or anything but it’s just going to be tough. I really just don’t understand my extended family at all. Why is it that when people need the most, other people back away? My aunt and uncle also pick my sister up from school sometimes and they will see my father delivering mail and they will just stop to talk to him like they are the best of friends. It upsets my sister and puts her in an awkward situation. They act like everything is okay. I’m not saying they need to hate him, I’m just saying they could think of someone other them themselves for more than two seconds and not have my sister be near my dad for more than she has to. Understanding/really loving them is going to be the next mountain I will have to climb, because it seems like every day they just make it harder and harder. I know that God gave us families for a reason, but I think He gave me mine to show me how they aren’t supposed to be. It’s just weird how things have changed in a short matter of time. They aren’t the family of my childhood anymore. I love this baby she is so beautiful , maybe she will bring our family together. Who knows.

words are flowing out like endless rain into a paper cup

So I realized that October is drawing to an end and soon it will be November. This makes me think of Thanksgiving, which is my second favorite holiday. I know that it is a ways a way, but I was thinking about how I never really stop and think about what I am thankful for. So I decided that I will do that now so I can dwell on it for the month of November. I’m sure that many of you will have the same list. ( note: these are not in any specific order)

1. 1. Jesus and all that he has done for me and is continuing to do

2. 2. My family

3. 3. My friends

4. 4. My job

5. 5. My house

6. 6. My cats ( yes, all 3,000 of them)

7. 7. Cute clothes

8. 8. All things delicious

9. 9. Nail polish

10. 10. Music

11. 11.Books and magazines

12. 12. Fall out boy

13. 13. Electricity

14. 14. The internet

15. 15. Soap

16. 16. Indoor plumbing

17. 17. Hot Australian men

18. 18. The Gosselins ( except for Maddy, and I’m only thankful for Kate since she birthed the children)

19. 19. Sea World ( and most marine life)

20. 20. Disneyland ( even though I haven’t been in forever)

21. 21.Razors

22. 22. Tattoos ( and the artists who give them)

23. 23. My church

24. 24. Underwear

25. 25. Asians ( there are many things in this category including: asian children, the japanese language, their food, chopsticks, technology (esp. ipods and my car) and hello kitty)

26. 26. Pillows

27. 27. Gel pens

28. 28. My children

29. 29. Simon Pegg and Nick Frost

30. 30. Sunglasses and sunblock

31. 31. Hand sanitizer

32. 32. Tooth paste and tooth brushes

33. 33. Unlimited texting

34. 34. Blankets

35. 35. Giraffes

36. 36. Polar bears

37. 37. Toilet paper

I could really go on and on, so I will stop now. I think those are the main points anyway.

I should have known better with a girl like you, that I would love everything that you do, and I do, hey hey hey, and I do!

Yes, so, this is yet another blog about myself. I know that is weird but I think I have finally realized what it is to truly understand the importance of myself and how I truly am fearfully and wonderfully made. I have struggled with self-esteem all throughout jr.high and high school and I have dealt with it pretty well in my college life so far, but now I think I am completely done with that. I have realized that the best thing that I could ever do for myself is to… be myself. Lately I have been comparing myself. Seeing what others have, but not taking into consideration what I have. It would really get me down. But then I realized that everyone has things to offer, including myself. And the things that make me different from others is what makes me, me. And people will appreciate those things, maybe not everyone in the same way, but some will. And that is what is important. God didn’t make one person and say this is the image we must live up to. He made us differently so we could be different. I am thankful that I am not like everyone else. I think that if everyone gets that into their head, then things will be a lot different. There was a book I read a while ago called, the Dashwood Sister’s Secrets of Love. (It’s some girly book) But there was a quote from it that I thought was cute, “Love is a bit like a doodle by Van Gogh, your lopsided circle could be a masterpiece to someone else.” I know this is dealing with love, but I think that it could also just be in general. Some of the things that I don’t think are very special about me ( like the fact that I giggle.. like mickey mouse) people take notice of. I think the little different things about us are God’s little details that He had fun putting in His children.

we're only good for the latest trends (fall out blog)

So Fall Out Boy has put up 3 new songs from their upcoming album on itunes so you can purchase them early. This is great fun not only for me, but for them, because they know that they are making money off of people like me who can’t just wait to buy the cd, but must buy the songs now, for .99 cents each. I know that it is a rip off.. but I just couldn’t help myself! I love them so! Each one of the songs is very different from the other and from what FOB normally does. Though they are different, doesn’t mean they aren’t good. They are. Very much so in fact and I like them very much. They will get ridiculed I know. I don’t understand why people can’t just accept it when a band goes a different way. Music is an expression of one’s self. Peoples tastes change. This is what happens. It is the band’s music and they should be able to explore if they want to. You can’t expect them to continue to sound exactly like they did 7 years ago when they started. They are being influenced by different things then they were then. So I am excited to see what all they will provide for us with the rest of their new album. But until then,… I will do with the 3 that I have now.