maybe whale training isn't my calling?

So today I got my first paper back in english. It was a timed in-class essay. Marie Barteld is my teacher so I would joke around with my brother that I have to get an "a" in her class because she knows me. haha. But I got my paper back and she said it was a perfect paper the best she has read so far! geez! And there were no grammatical errors at all so when the other students were fixing what they did wrong, I had nothing to do. haha. So that made me feel good. And she thinks that I should definitely do something with writing in my life... I never told her how I thought about changing majors... so.. now, idk what I should do

and so it goes

so i have been making improvements on my problem. Of course I know it is gonna be a gradual thing, but what I have realized is that some of the people that are the hardest to love, ... are those related to me. This is indeed a problem but all I can do is keep asking God to help me love people like He loves me. That is what I am working on now.

I get by with a little help from my friends

So I have had an issue.. a problem that I just can't seem to get over. And I really need to get over it in order for me to have a better relationship with God, which is what I really want. My problem... : I really don't like people. .. Oh of course I like my friends.. and the people who tip at work.. but other than that... I really don't like people. I think they are stupid and rude. I know some persons like people.. like Denise and my mom .. oh and Jesus... and I just don't. I have tried to like people, I really have. I have prayed to God to change my heart.. but I need help. If u think about it please pray for me. I didn't realize how big of a problem it was until the other day. I was reading the Bible. Luke 23. And I came to the part where Jesus is being crucified and he says, " Father forgive them for they know not what they do." and I wanted to throw up. I was so disgusted with myself. Here Jesus has people treating him so inhumanely it's indescribable and he wants to forgive them. And I am treated badly by a customer and I want to write off all humanity and never deal with them again. I just don't understand it. Clearly there is something wrong... and I am ready for it to be right. But it is very very hard.

That's what she said

So basically I have been watching season 4 of the office on dvd... and I really can't wait til season 5! I really love that show.. it always makes me happy..( thanks goes to candice for introducing me)

Things r looking up

So I know a few posts ago I was talking about a new job.. well, now it looks as if I won't need one. Basically my boss is letting me have the perfect schedule and I am working some major hours but I get the two days I am at school off. So it is really helping a lot. And he is nice to me now! He used to be such a jerk... and only to me! But now everything is all good.. it makes me happy... oh and ... I officially have 5 cats! ( that is what happens when your mom finds cats.. brings them home.. tried to force them on people.. and then they can't take care of them) just to let u know!



that is what all the cats do... they come to my mom

surviving the wilderness

So I went to June lake with the Holmes, Candice, and Phil. I will explain my adventure from the start.
Saturday.. not a good day. I had just a bad day at work and it wasn't good. But when I got home I had to pack. ( This is when the day got better) and then.. it was the first official night of the olympics. Now, I love the Olympics for many reasons, 1. people from almost every country in the world come together 2. I love to read the foreign peoples names.. it's loads of fun. 3. I like to watch people that r much more talented than me.. and finally 4. HOT MEN! There are always hot men. and especially the summer olympics because... MICHAEL PHELPS! So candice came and got me and we went to the Holmes' home. There I made Shanna change the channel on the tv so we could watch michael win his first gold medal of the year. Then we slept for a little while then started the drive. We had all made mix cds to listen to. And they were all pretty good. So then we got there. We saw mountains and stuff. Then we went to the lake. I have never been to a lake b 4 so it was pretty cool cuz there wasn't any seaweed or waves. It was freezing and took my about half and hour to get in. When I did I realized that there was lake olympics going on. Apparently america won. Oh and then after that we watched the discovery channel and learned how to survive if we are lost at sea or in the snow wilderness. Then wayyyy later on some of us watched the olympics while candice and stacee went to bed. It was very exciting and Michael got really excited and so did we. So much so that I couldn't stop laughing. It was midnight and susanna and I tried to go to bed quietly but we ended up waking candice and stacee up because we couldn't stop laughing for some reason.
So the next day we went sight seeing and we walked in the wilderness to an ugly lake. I was in sandals and my feet got dirty. There was also horse poo. But then we went to convict lake and I almost died while being adventurous and trying to clean off my feet. We also stopped and had photo opportunities. and then we went home. So it was cool.

something that we all need to learn

So I have been slowly reading this book that my mother gave me at the beginning of the year. It's an amazing book but I just never have time to read. Every time I read it, I learn something new. It is called Become a Better you by Joel Osteen. At first I was like,, or not. His picture is on the front with his big toothy grin and the picture of him and his wife in the back is just scary it looks so fake. But I started to read it anyway. Today I got to a chapter called, learning to like yourself. I am going to share some of it with you it really spoke a lot.

" Jesus said, "love your neighbor as yourself" Notice the prerequisite to loving others is to love yourself. If you don't have a healthy respect for who you are, and if you don't learn to accept yourself faults and all, you will never be able to properly love other people. Unfortunately, self- loathing destroys many relationships nowadays.
I've met many people who think that their spouse is the reason they can't get along in their marriage. Or they're sure it's their coworker's fault, but the act is they have a civil war raging on the inside. They don't like their looks, they don't like where they are in life, they are upset because they haven't broken a bad habit, and that poison spills out into their relationships.
Understand, you can't give away what you don't have. If you don't love yourself you aren't going to be able to love others. If you're at strife on the inside, feeling angry or insecure about yourself, feeling unattractive, feeling condemned, then that's all you can give away. On the other hand, if you'll recognize that God is working on you, and in spite of your flaws and weaknesses, you can learn to accept yourself. Then you can give that love away and have healthy relationships. ....
That's why it's so important that you feel good about who you are. You may have some faults. You may have some things you wish you could change about yourself. Well, join the crowd. We all do. But lighten up and quit being so hard on yourself. Interestingly, we might never criticize another person or tell him or her, "You are really dumb; You're unattractive, you're undisciplined, I don't like you." Yet we don't have a problem saying it to ourselves. But understand that when you criticize yourself, you are criticizing God's ultimate creation....
Many people are their own worst enemies. "Well, I'm so over weight. I've blown my diet. I don't spend enough time with my children. I am so undisciplined. I didn't even clean my house last week. Surely, God is not pleased with me."
Don't step into that trap. The Scripture indicates that God has already approved and accepted you. It doesn't say God approves you as long as you live a perfect life. No, it says God approves you unconditionally, just as you are. Frankly, it's not because of what you have or haven't done; God loves you because of who you are and who He is. God is Love. You are a child of the most high God. If God approves you, Why don't you approve yourself? Shake off guilt, condemnation, inadequacies, and a sense that you can't measure up and start feeling good about who you are."

So that is just the first 2 pages. I haven't even read the rest of the chapter