gonna rock the floor, gonna dance to the tempo

So here i sit looking at the lack of advice I got on my last blog. Clearly no one reads these things. But I still type for myself and for the fact that maybe it will help me later on in life.
I am also inserting all my music back into my computer. We had to get 56 viruses taken off so that also meant all my music is lost. It has taken me at least a month and I am nearing the end. It is just crazy when you think about it. Like how are they able to put music on discs and how r things like cd players and computers able to read them? It is also crazy to look at my little gold ipod and see all the thousands of songs that it holds. The other day al and I went to amoeba music and I looked at the big records in awe. How did people figure out how to record something and put it on vinyl? I just don't get it. But I sure do appreciate it. But what I do not appreciate in computer viruses. Hopefully I won't have to do this again for a long time

Bring your ship about to watch a friend drown, stood over the ledge begged you to come down. You can only lean on me for so long

Question: lets say u have a friend. And you used to be very close but then that friend started hanging out with the wrong crowd, but you were still there for her. And the wrong crowd left her and you were there. But you werent fun enough so she tried to find other people and ended up hanging with the worst crowd. But you were still there for her. And she decided to live a life that is not very good. But you were still there for her. And you accepted her still and didn't judge her and you let her know that you were there. But then she pushed you away becuase she knew what she was doing was wrong. You tell her she needs to change her life so she pushes you away more. What do you do now? Do you still try to put up with her nonsense or do u just let her live her life?
This is basically what I am dealing with now. I am exhausted and there are soo many thoughts spinning around my head. Do I still try to b there for her or do I wash my hands of the situation? I feel like the "Jesus" thing to do would b to still b there and listen to her shenanigans and baby her like everyone else does to try and get her to stop. But I mean, if people don't want to listen and they don't want to change, what can you do?
If I could get some feedback I would greatly appreciate it.

If I fell in love with you, would you promise to be true, and help me understand

oh man, so I haven't been on here in ages! Even though it is summer, I have been pretty busy. It has been going by so fast. I am not ready for school to be starting next month.
Well, for those of you who don't know because you haven't been told by my brother or someone else who feels they should share my personal life information, I have a boyfriend. Yes, you saw it right. We have been dating for a month now. Hes my best friend. Hes a really great guy. so, I made him a cake. Haha. He special ordered it, I don't think he thought that I would actually make one. I have never made a cake before. But it turned out good. His name is Alphonse, so this is his cake.

nobody wants to feel like this

Oh geez, I haven't been on here in ages. I have just been so busy lately with birthdays and graduations. But I am going insane! Its been just one thing after another with me. Fist, a couple weeks ago I had minor tonsilitis. That was truly horrible. Then yesterday my girl issues caused me to b sick and now I just woke up completely covered in a rash. The rash is actually the virus, fifth disease and I have had it before when I was a child. They say it never really goes away, but my tonsilitis was what brought it back. So I look like a freak and I am getting tired of things happening like this. Normally I never get sick. I dont appreciate it. I hope it goes away today. I have a big week ahead of me. So, if you could please pray for me, it would b greatly appreciated

• You’re running free as only you would be if you never owed them anything

Well well, I am officially out of school and it is very weird. I didn't register for summer school in time and so I am kind of freaking out at the massive amount of free time I will have. I am really not used to free time. So my first project would b to completely clean my room. I have already got a good chunk out of the way, but some stuff needs organization. I would also like to learn guitar, as I have mentioned earlier. I am trying to register for fall classes but there is a technical problem and I have to wait for them to fix it. ugh, so scandalous. So hopefully I can get all the classes i want and at the time I want them too.

Mix the chemicals right dear, yeah you know that you could save my life

*sigh* I am supposed to be working on my anthropology paper. There is just soo much information that I have to write. It’s ridiculous and I just had to write a bunch of articles that my teacher wrote basically saying the same things that he says every day. So boring. Today is the last day of the Chasing the lion Bible study and I am sad it was so short. I really liked it. And now I just have to remember to chase my lions. Well, I have two days of finals and then I am done. I cannot wait!

• The months they don’t matter, it’s the days I can’t take, when the hours move to minutes and I’m seconds away.

What to blog? What to blog? Well, finals are next week so that’s kind of cool in a way because that means that school is almost out. I really need to register for summer classes. I just haven’t had time. I really can’t wait for summer. Summer means more tips and getting to work with 2 people at a time. It’s really fun. We just laugh all the time. Summer also is going to bring Encounter the hillsong conference that I will be attending. I am beyond excited. The vans warped tour has an AMAZING lineup this year so I will definitely be there also. Those are my summer plans so far. And I guess we’ll see what else summer brings.

You’ll find me in the same spot believe me

So my friend Al hurt his knee really bad. It’s been like 2 weeks now and it is just getting worse. He is normally a very active guy, so he is practically dying from not being able to do anything. I am not an active person but eventually this would annoy me also. I guess we really take things like our knees for granted. He works with me, so even just standing at work gives him pain. And our work is not strenuous. Now I will no longer take my ability to walk and run or even stand for granted. So if you think about it, you should shoot up a prayer for him so he can get back to his normal life.

I wrote the gospel on giving up

Yuck! So yesterday in my biology lab class I had to dissect a frog. Now I know that most people already did this in either jr. high or high school, but I didn’t. I dissected a pig’s heart, but that’s about it. It is disgusting how you have to cut through organs and even the rib cage.I really did not want to do it. I love animals and I love to learn about them, but please, just give me a diagram or something. Luckily we worked in partners and mine did most of the work. Of coarse I helped, but it was awful. And of coarse, the stench of the formaldehyde wasn’t that great either. My teacher said that frogs are going extinct very quickly due to some killer fungus. Poor Kermit!

there's somebody else who feels the same somewhere

Why is my dad not a rockstar? That is the question I have been pondering. Last night I was reading some of the book U2 by U2 and I got to the part where it's 1989, the year I was born. and both the edge and bono have daughters who are born around the same time as me. One is even like ten days older than me. And i'm thinking, wow somewhere around the world those girls have a completely different life. Their dads are rich.. and mine is just a failure. I know that i shouldn't say that, but I couldn't help but imagine what my life would be like if my dad were in U2. I think that I would want the edge to be my dad. Yes, that sounds good.

I’m just afraid that if you stay, you’ll hate me

The confederate flag. What does it mean in today’s world? That is what I am trying to figure out. The other day I was at a friend’s house who had many American flag things and army stuff all over their room. Well, there was an eagle statue and he was holding a confederate flag. Now, when I think of confederate flags, I think of slavery and how the confederates were for it. So I would automatically think that this person would be a racist. But I know this person and they are not. I have seen confederate flags around a lot lately. Some people just say “ the south will rise again.” Really? Is that it? Because that flag didn’t stand for good things. Our country was split apart because of it and its just being flaunted around. Like the band Avenged Sevenfold, I love them very much, but they have confederate flags everywhere. What does that mean? Does that mean that they are racist? Or do they just really like the south? It’s all just a little weird and I don’t really get it. Does someone have some insight to this?

Oh baby, when they made me, they broke the mold

So I have just realized, … that I have very small hands.
I have been wanting to expand my musical knowledge and learn to play either guitar or piano, or both. I mentioned this to my brother, who in turn mentioned it casually in conversation with his boss who happens to be the guitar player at our church, Mike. Mike just bought a new guitar that is both acoustic and electric so he decided to GIVE me his old acoustic guitar! It is so beautiful! I have truly been blessed. (its almost the size of me, but I can deal). So I decided yesterday to pick it up and start memorizing chords. I thought it couldn’t be too difficult since I already play bass… and that is where I was wrong. Memorizing is not going to be a problem.. but getting my yittle fingers in the positions is. They were struggling so hard to reach every string. Normally I just play one string at a time and I only have 4, but this time there is 6! So my hands will have to practice stretching themselves. I remember a long time ago someone telling me that it was a good thing that I didn’t play guitar because my hands were so small.. and now I know what they meant.
p.s.:
HAPPY ST.PATRICK'S DAY!

If you’re ready we can shake the world

So for my anthropology class, I had to watch a film about when the Australians went to New Guinea in search for gold. The native people there were saying that they had never seen white people before. They thought they were ghosts because they were pale and they couldn’t possibly excrete because they were wearing so much clothing. (as compared to them) I couldn’t believe it. They had only known the people in their tribe, or whatever you want to call it. I couldn’t imagine having such a small world. It really is crazy when you think about it. I may not have been around the world, but I am at least aware of it and all the different people and animals that inhabit it.

I will never end up like him, behind my back I already am

Have you ever got the giggles real bad? Well, I have. The last time, on thursday night worship practice. We all got in a prayer circle getting ready to pray. A lady ( whose name I cannot think of at the moment) was talking about her prayer requests and about how so and so is dying and then my brother just starts to laugh. So, of coarse this makes me laugh. We tried to pull it off like he was choking, but he was still chuckling which made me laugh. Unfortunately I could not contain my laughter and it just kept coming, and the lady just kept talking and then she started to say that her mother was very ill and it was at that moment that I erupted in loud laughter. I felt horrible. I do not know this lady, she has just got on the worship team as a backup singer and now she must think that I am a horrible person. But she just went on and on. Finally we started praying after what seemed like forever! I was biting down on my gum so hard as to not laugh again.. It was really really bad.

today

The church business meeting is today and I will be voting. This is something new. It is going to be very strange, my whole life I have just felt like I am a child. Growing up in the church I was always known as Ruben’s kid. That was my identity. When I started to play bass, I relayed on my father to show me exactly what to play. I got away with things because my dad was on staff, and now he is gone. And I realize that I do not have a knowledge of music and I am no longer a dependent child. It is my time to step up and realize that I am an adult and I have to do my part as a member of the church that I have been going to my entire life.

I want everything to change and stay the same

it seems as of lately everything in my life is changing. There is just a lot of suddle change. And things that I thought would happen are tuning out not only to not happen, but to have the strangest result. It seems like everyday there is a new surprise... a weird turn of events. I don't know. I guess I just feel like God is really testing me to make sure that I am fully relying on Him because I don't know where anything is going.

It’s ok if you break, you’ll see colors again

So pretty soon it will be the month of February and so that means I have failed at the memorize two Bible verses a month thing. I only memorized one. I memorized Isaiah 41:10. ( And also got it tattooed on me) It goes like this:

So do not fear, for I am with you; Do not be dismayed for I am your God; I will strengthen and help you; I will uphold you with My righteous right hand.

I think that is a very important verse to learn. I wanted to know it because when hard, scary, or stressful times come, I want to remember that He will help me through. It is easy for us to pray for God to deliver us from the problems, but it never seems to happen that way. Joel Osteen says, “Faith doesn’t always deliver you, but it will always carry you through.”

I have yet to decide what I will memorize next,.. but I have to figure it out soon!

You can bow and pretend that you don’t know you’re a legend

So the other night I went out with my friend to a dance show at el camino college. She had to go because of the class she is taking. So we went… it was all modern dance. Now, I know that I am not all artsy and junk, but … I just didn’t get it. It looked like a bunch of women who were told to make up a dance on the spot. And they love to touch each other. It was very hard to keep the laughter down. And at times it was hard to stay awake. I know my friend felt awful for making me go… but it was an experience.

daddy said you gotta show the world the thunder

The other day on myspace I read a survey. One of the questions was, “ Do you think you are anything like the person you were a year ago?” The answer was no and I thought about it. Am I anything like I was a year ago? The answer was also no. At first I wanted to say yes because year after year if I were to have been asked that question, the answer would have been yes, that I was always the same. But the past two years, I have done a lot of changing. In the year that just passed my view of life and love have changed. Normally I think of change as a bad thing. I’m really not a fan of it. But when I really thought of it, I want my answer to that question every year to be a no. I want to always be changing and moving forward. The only way to become a better person is to change. So if that’s what it takes, then so be it.

you tell me that you need me, then you go and cut me down

With all the talk of new years resolutions.. I feel like I should have my say. One of my new years resolutions would be to compliment more. It's not that I'm not a positive person.. it's just that I don't voice it all the time. I might want to compliment someone... but if it is not convenient at the time to tell the person.. then I don't do it. It never hurts to hear something positive. One day I had just come into work and my coworker Gayle was helping someone. She made a cone for her and I noticed that it was a very nice cone. Cones aren't as easy to make as it looks. So I told her it was a nice cone. She stopped and said that was the nicest thing she had heard all day. And she began to tell me about her horrible day. That little compliment just helped her out so much. And it wasn't even that big of a deal. So I will try harder to voice positive things. That is a goal of mine this year.